Why Should they Care?

by Duncan Mathison

I am an introvert. No kidding. Personally, I don’t find networking to be very natural. As a result, I need to have a clearer sense of purpose and see better results in order to find it worthwhile.

Some great networkers believe the universe is working in their favor and they just need to put their “energy” out there and good things will come. Might be true for them and it is their motivation to get out their and network. But it’s not true for me.

And, I take rejection personally.

So when I started learning how to network I struggled with asking people for help and I really wrestled with asking people who don’t know me from Adam to refer me to their personal contacts. Why would they do that? Why would they risk their personal reputation to refer me – “The Unemployed” to an important peer?

This question stopped me cold until I figured out that it was the wrong question to start with.

The right question was, “How can I conduct a networking meeting that would prompt people to open their personal contact list?” How would I ask for the meeting? What would be the agenda? What are exactly the right words to say that engages the person and enlist them in my quest for a new job.

The right questions allowed me to focus on what I controlled – me, as opposed to what I don’t control – them. This changed the game. When I asked that question, I started focusing on what I did and observing my networking contact’s response.

In each meeting I began to look and listen more carefully at the behavior of my networking contact. How did they respond to my words? If I gave them a piece of paper (especially my resume) what would they focus on? How would that influence the meeting? 

I also started paying attention to the flow and the outcomes of meetings. What could I say and do to shift from a discussion of ideas to discussion about specific positions, employers and hiring managers? What could I do that would prompt people to give up the names they knew and make introductions?

And most importantly, how could I leave the meeting knowing that if I needed to get back to them, they would respond?

It took some practice. I tinkered with a few ideas  and shared the best with my clients and my clients shared the best with me. Watch, listen and learn. It is not about them. It is about you.

Tags: hidden job market, mood, networking, positive psychology, Re-energize the search, self improvement, Unlock the Hidden Job Market

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 9th, 2010 at 9:45 am and is filed under Blog, job search, networking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.